Kindlandia: Kindness for Ourselves

Kindlandia: Kindness for Ourselves!

Oh, dearest Edythe, how I wanted to pick up the phone and call you when I saw the Between Friends comic in the Seattle Times last Saturday. It was surely created just for us by Canadian Sandra Bell-Lundy! In the comic strip, column-writer Kim is surrounded by stacks of papers in her home office. She laments, “You know what this is? THIS is a reflection of my LIFE.” Maeve, a good friend who always has a snappy comeback, after a moment of reflection says, “You mean evidence of years and years of creative output of a busy, engaged LIFE?” In the next block, the two women contemplate the stacks of papers. Finally, Kim turns to Maeve with a big smile and says, “Yeah … that.”

How we have bemoaned to each other over the years the state of chaos in our home offices! Not that we haven’t tried to rein in the bedlam. I flew an organizer up from Ashland, Oregon for four days. Yes, she was excellent. Junk drawers, clothes drawers, desk drawers never knew what hit them! We sorted greeting cards and files. After several years, they are still organized. Another time I sorted and thinned out my books. I tried to be ruthless. A friend came over and helped me reorganize and re-shelve the treasured books that remained. Nevertheless, a big mound of boxes and bags which only I could tackle remained in the middle of the room. Then, with the death my parents in recent years, boxes from the family home added to the pile …

Edythe, I know you did something similar. One of our Edmonds Writing Sisters, famous for her organizing skills, drove down to your home in Cottage Grove for several days of sorting. I saw the evidence of labeled files and systematized three-ring binders for your many organizations. However, there were those stacks of boxes that only you could go through …

We tried making a pact. We’d call each other once a week and give an update on our progress. We tried …

Yet, at the time of your passing we both had stacks in our offices.
What a wonderful reframing the Between Friends comic brought. Instead of berating ourselves that the stacks indicate what was undone, they represent the full lives we lived! The stacks indicate years and years of creative endeavors and reflect busy and engaged lives!

We cherished our made-up Kindlandia, a place where only kind people can live. We loved to share experiences and stories of kindness. I think this comic strip is a message we need to remember, “to be kind to ourselves.” Kindness is not only for others. We are often our own harshest critics and quick to label ourselves or our situation with a negative value judgement.
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There is the adage, “Charity begins at home.” I believe we can add, “Kindness is not only for others. Kindness begins with ourselves.”