Kindlandia: A Year of Living Kindly and Kindlandia

Dear Edythe,
Recently, a local indie bookshop, Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park, hosted author Donna Cameron. She gave an insightful as well as engaging presentation about her book, A Year of Living Kindly.

I, who together with you, Edythe, created Kindlandia, a land where only kind people can live, of course was immediately drawn to Donna’s event. She spoke of the many benefits of living a life of kindness. It can be contagious. One act of kindness can precipitate a domino effect of kind acts among people. It is also beneficial to our well-being both physically and emotionally.

Donna’s book includes several pages of resources regarding kindness. Three listed with their blurbs on the back cover are:

Sarah Kaufman, author of The Art of Grace

Nicole Phillips, author of Kindness is Contagious and host of The Kindness Podcast.

Leon Logothetis, author of The Kindness Diaries

One specific issue I’d like to address is the idea of giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Donna gave several examples of how sometimes others’ behaviors can be odd and the easiest reaction would be to criticize or be offended. What if we paused to wonder if something was going on, or if something else was happening unbeknownst to us?

This reminded me of the most salient takeaway from a webinar on team building offered by the Disney Corporation.

The question posed was, “Who believes they are trustworthy?” Every hand went up. Then the question was asked, “Who knows someone who is not trustworthy?” All hands went back up.

The facilitator remarked there seemed to be some incongruity. If we are all trustworthy, yet we all believe we know others who are not trustworthy, what gives?

The Disney educator suggested that when we do something, we know our intent. We desire to do the right thing and inside we know that to be true. Others, however, can only make judgements by what they see or perceive from our actions. They cannot read our minds. We know we meant well but should something in our actions or comments seem off to others, they may question if we are truly trustworthy. Here grows the gap of doubt among people. If we are too quick to judge, the chasm only grows wider. However, what if we might become more curious than critical when seemingly odd behavior or comments happen? What if we responded with a question rather than a rebuke? Rather than attacking the speaker, what if we shared how we experienced a comment and gave the person a chance to clarify? What if we waited a moment to see why the car in front of us is not moving with the green light? Soon we might see a pedestrian still crossing who was initially blocked from our view.

Edythe, I think this was one of the cornerstones of our friendship. Our many years together only drew us closer as we shared in the ebbs and flows of life. We had learned how to speak the truth to each other in love and how to be curious of each other during challenging times rather than being critical.

Author Donna Cameron contends that kindness is contagious. Each time we choose curious over critical we spread the seeds of kindness.

It’s what Kindlandia and this blog are all about.